DG Kovalam 2015 - Dip the Toes or Jump In?

I’ve always been the person who gets into the pool slowly.  Dipping in my toes, then sitting on the side with legs in the water, and eventually sliding into the cool water slowly, so as to avoid the cold shock, which is always refreshing and wonderful...so what was I hesitating for?

This is Week Three of David Garrigues’ month-long program in Kovalam, India.  I’ve settled in to some routines, and let go of some of the fears I had coming here - around food, bugs and just generally being on the other side of the world, away from anything familiar.  I have a practice schedule and an apprenticeship schedule.  I have found a few favorite places for meals and snacks that I’ve deemed “safe” and quite tasty.  And developing friendships with my fellow DG compatriots as well as some of the locals is very comforting.  Beach time, shopping, and massages also help pass the time :-)

At the Open Market in Trivandrum

I don’t feel so alone, but I do still miss home.  I’ve been dreaming and daydreaming about the silliest, most mundane things about home...Target, Harris Teeter, Mellow Mushroom, and my favorite cozy purple chair in my kitchen.  

Oddly, I don’t mind so much that I have to brush my teeth with bottled water, and that the toilets and showers are a little weird.  I’ve become accustomed to the sights, sounds and smells, like burning trash alongside the road, the constant honking of horns in traffic, and the frenetic pace of traffic here, with four lanes carved out of the two-lane roads, and very often oncoming traffic swerving out of the way just in time (or my driver swerving out of oncoming traffic just in time!).  

At the Open Market in Trivandrum

But then again, I feel like such a lame duck being so happy with myself for making this trip and adjusting to this place, when I meet so many people here who are travelling all over the world on a very regular basis.  This is just one stop on their tour of the world.  Some are seeing the world before settling to get married, have babies, etc...and some are finally getting around to this kind of trip like me, others do this kind of thing all the time, either for work or vacation.  

An impromptu Cricket game

It strikes me that many people here with me are at (or coming to) some sort of crossroads or transition in their lives.  And what better way to make that transition than taking some time (some real time, not just a few days), immersing in a study of the self and practicing being in uncomfortable or fearful places in a little safer place...with a teacher who understands that growth and knowledge of the self only happens when we purposely put ourselves in fear, and is willing to take us to these places...regularly :-)

We chant and discuss the Yoga Sutras on Wednesdays, and last Wednesday David had something to get off his chest.

By way of setting the stage, we reviewed the idea that meditation is the experience of yoga, a stopping of the mind, and also a technique, and what we are going for with this nirodhah (stopping of the mind activity) is equanimity, clarity, centeredness so that anything that comes up will not throw us into reaction.  The vrrti (mind activity) we are trying to stop is constantly pushing and pulling us, churning, and the more we identify and attach to that churning, the deeper the samskaras (patterns, grooves, attachments) become.  When we are able to separate from these attachments, we can have equanimity...samadhi.

Chapter 2 of the Yoga Sutras gives us 3 practices from the Niyamas: Tapas (intensity in spiritual practice), Swadyaya (personal study), and Ishwara Pranidhana (surrender to practice/study) which are tools to help bring about Samadhi, and for attenuating the effects of the 5 Kleshas (afflictions).

Kleshas:

Avidya = Sanyoga = no distinction between Purusa (self) and Prakrti (material world)

Asmita = “I-Ness”, Ego, an affliction of Ahamkara (Ego)

Raga = attachment to pleasure

Dvesa = Aversion to pain

Abhinivesah = Clinging to life

When we operate in our lives and in the world from a base of these kleshas, a cycle is created and patterns are formed (Samskara).  Then we identify with these patterns, cling to them, and kleshas are formed.  When we are able to stop this identification/association, we can, over time, clear those patterns and stop the cycles.

David told us about what he calls the “Fortress of Sameness”.  We tend to build ourselves a wall with these Samskara (patterns).  There is so much fear involved in needing to repeat these patterns we’ve created.  We LIKE this material world we’ve created.  We naturally develop associations from our daily experiences -- “Cake tastes good, I like cake, I must try to have cake again, what if I can’t ever have cake again (Oh NO!)”...OR “I didn’t like how it felt to be yelled at, I must try to avoid that, I won’t do anything that might bring that about again!”...OR “I like living in this world, I’d like to live as long as possible, I’ll do anything I can to preserve this life/body”  But the fear involved in falling into these patterns is STRONG, PERVASIVE, UNCONSCIOUS.  And the “Fortress of Sameness” is our hideout from this fear.

David’s job is to PURPOSELY PLACES US IN FEAR...so that we may enter into a relationship with this fear, striving to turn it around.  

“TAKE A GAMBLE” David says.  Our practice is about churning, stirring up the strong energy of these patterns and afflictions, entering into relationship with them and TAKING A RISK.  

“NOT RISKING IS RISKIER THAN RISKING.”

BUT...Take these gambles using SKILL IN ACTION. Use props so as to gamble with limits.  Find alignment and breath in asana.  This equanimity of alignment and breath is unbiasing. And this equanimity checks the cycle of Samskara...doesn’t make new patterns, and slowly erases old patterns.

JUMP IN THE WATER...maybe check for crocodiles first ;-)

DG Kovalam 2015 - One Week Down, Three to Go!

The first week was a little rough, but David has been kind, and the timing of last week's Moon Day on Tuesday was perfect.  

I'm settling in now, and getting used to the schedule, the heat, the food and the culture of this little beach town.  Foreign languages are all around - Russian, German, you name it (because I can't!  I don't recognize most of them!).  I'm completely amazed that the locals can understand and even speak at least a little bit of most of these languages - I feel like such a slacker only knowing ONE language!  

We've found several restaurants - many vegetarian, a few with ayurvedic options, and some with more western dishes, for a change of pace.

Alan Restaurant - a favorite

I'm here this month partly as a student, and partly as an apprentice, so I've had the privilege to watch David work with the students a bit.  Today it struck me that he is asking several students to figure some of this stuff out themselves.  To be creative in how they use their bodies and make these shapes.  To endeavor to solve these problems independently, and to have trust in themselves to do so.

Its a theme I've discovered over the past year apprenticing with David.  He's not into telling us what to do. He wants us to figure it out for ourselves to a certain extent, and he'll let us know if we are getting off track. This can of course be frustrating - ok, infuriating - sometimes, but for me it is just what I have needed - an antidote to complacency.

Our schedule for this month includes only a couple of times per week where David is talking to us - lecturing or instructing - so the content of these sessions is concise, valuable, and universal, meaning it applies to all (or most) students, whichever series or pose they are practicing, or how long they've been practicing.

So....

We heard about the Asana Allies - Drishti, Bandhas, Breath, Vinyasa, and Asana - specifically the Single Asana, Samastitih.  These techniques help us to arrive at a perceptual experience of the world and us in it. To percieve the patterns that connect out of random chaos - what is the pattern that connects the individual patterns?

Asana as Yantras - physical shapes to meditate on, made up of lines organized around the joints, and working to make sure these lines are unbroken.  Animation of the body around the unbroken line (as in Samastitih) illuminates the line, and illumination of the line frees the breath.

We broke down Surya Namaskar A, clarifying each of the 10 positions as a stopping place - stopping the body and stopping the mind (including a brief look at chaturanga!) And we received a mantra for those of us needing to build strength in the upper body through chaturanga - "Hips Down, Chest up!" :-)  

At the core of all this we are aiming to harness Prana, and the main ingredient in Prana? ---- DESIRE

Desire has two broad directions - 1) More of everything!  and 2) the opposite - liberation from everything

And we all have a constant struggle to balance these two...pushing and pulling, churning...

David told the story of the Demons and Gods battling over the magical elixir that gives eternal life, and churning the ocean with a great mountain (with Vishnu taking the form of Kurma, a tortoise, to keep the mountain afloat!).  The Demons pulling one way, the Gods pulling the other.  Before the elixir was released from the bottom of the ocean, there was poison, and then the elixir was released.  Don't worry, the Gods won out in the end...

After practice...#ashtangabitchslapped

DG Kovalam 2015...India!

So here I am in India, still a little shellshocked by the long travels and the unfamiliarity of everything here. Today is our second day here in Kovalam, and Dave and I are still getting our feet under us.  Below are a few photos of our journey and where we landed.  Right now I'm feeling so grateful to have landed softly. Thanks to some good recommendations we have a great home base from which to explore.

It's such a different place, but also very much the same.  We found a nice beach a little off the beaten path, and swam a bit, remarking how similar it is to our favorite beaches in North Carolina.  Same water temp, same type of beach and sand, and same kind of surf (not too big, not too little) - but on the other side of the world, and with the freshest coconuts and papaya and pineapple!  The people here are kind, friendly and helpful, and love to talk about themselves and their culture.

Beginning of our first flight...still quite chipper!

End of the line...slightly less chipper

At the Maharaju Palace - Nice place to land in India!

Lighthouse Beach, Kovalam

Lighthouse Beach - Evening

As for the yoga (oh yeah!  THAT'S why we're here!), we had a chance yesterday to gather and meet and chat a bit with David.  Lots of familiar faces and a few new ones.  As my dear friend Suzy (who recommended our hotel and shared her experience with me so generously) would say, "It's like camp!"

Today's practice was a little easier than I expected - definitely a lot warmer!  The space is quite nice, with plenty of room, and a nice breeze every once in a while (though I'm told it will be hotter before the month is over).  After practice we had Sunday Talk with David, with him answering a few questions and explaining the schedule for the weeks ahead.

I get to assist David in Mysore tomorrow...looking forward to all the teaching and learning!  

2015 Begins...

I'm working back into my regular practice...feeling stiff and creaky after a few weeks of "maintaining" through the holidays.  I thought I was doing pretty well with keeping time and space for practice, but then I got THE FLU.  

So... I actually took a couple of days off, and got back to the mat with little resistance - in no small part due to the strength I've gained in practice over the past year under the guidance of my teacher, David Garrigues.  That and some changes in diet...more on that in another post...

But then the HOLIDAYS hit!  And priorities changed.  My family was home, and my parents and inlaws were here, and I wanted to spend time with them for the short time they were here/home/visiting.  

Here's the whole gang ready to see a Christmas Play :-)

So practices were short, less focused...long story short, Third Series was on hiatus for 3 weeks.  Which isn't really a problem until its time to bring it back into the schedule...hence...I'm working back into my regular practice.  Patience and persistence are the name of the game this week.

The view from my mat

So now we begin a new year, and each year I make a resolution to write and share more on this blog, so that is on the list again this year.  

I'm hoping to share some of the insights that come to me as I practice...or (as more commonly happens) as I dry my hair :-)  Maybe a few practice notes and maybe some inspiration in there occasionally...

For right now, I'd like to share with you some of my favorite blogs, and encourage you to follow as well.  There is a great community of Ashtangis out there on on the interweb - so much talent, sharing, support, and inspiration - which we all need at times, like when our friends and family look at us funny for getting up so early and refusing that glass of wine, or cake or whatever.  

A person could literally spend all day trolling the internet for Ashtanga videos, clips and websites.  Start with these, and be sure to set a reminder for yourself to go run that errand, or attend that meeting, or pick up that kid...its easy to lose track of time once you get started...

David Garrigues: Well of course you must read my teacher's blog!  David shares some of his journal entries, profound knowledge and inspiration from his experiences as a teacher and student.  He also has a YouTube channel and is a prolific poster on all things asana and theory...You won't regret a minute on this one.
Ashtanga Dispatch: Peg Mulqueen teaches in the DC area and has been blowing up the Ashtanga scene lately with podcasts, a magazine, and much more...and she's a total sweetheart!
The Confluence Countdown:  Started literally as a daily countdown to the first (or maybe second) Ashtanga Confluence in San Diego, it has now evolved into a great source of news and developments in the yoga world, specifically Ashtanga, and some personal insights.  
My Yoga Blog: Ursula shares some interesting technical insights into poses and invites us along on her personal journey as well.  

Ok - start clicking!!

Namaste

Stacy

Why Does It Have To Be So Hard?

So I'm just off of a weekend workshop with David Garrigues Hosted by Suzanne and Nikos at the Ashtanga Yoga Club Durham...DG5: Strength of an Elephant

The theme of the weekend was strength (obviously) and how and where to develop that strength within the Ashtanga practice.  Finding our foundation was a big part of the weekend as well...getting our strength from the ground.

Going into the weekend I was feeling strong...I've been practicing along, doing my thing and feeling pretty good about it..."This will be no problem!"  I thought...WHAT A FOOL I WAS!!!  Is should have known better!  I've been to workshops and intensives with David before.  He is a soulful, joyful and caring teacher...and also fearless and demanding!  There is no cheating in his class!  Especially this weekend, where the theme is strength, and many of us have become masters of dodging those opportunities in the practice to build it.  The Artful Dodger was banished this weekend!

We began Friday night with a break down of Surya Namaskara A - movement by movement, breath by breath - holding the beginning and ending points of every position, and every point in between.  We found our "Pillar of Light" in Samastith, shining our light from the pelvic floor up and out through the crown of our head.

Saturday we continued our quest for foundation and light-shining through the Standing Sequence and roughly half of the Seated Poses of Primary Series, pausing for a bit to cover the ever popular but elusive Jump Back and Jump Through...IT TOOK 4 HOURS...

I have to admit I found myself a little angry with David (HAHA!!) about half way through this adventure...but I got over it.  After all, I definitely found my foundation and pillar of light, and had a few revelations about teaching and adjusting.

And seeing how thoroughly I had my ass kicked (I'm still a little sore!) made me feel like a beginner again...and isn't that a GOOD THING?  Shouldn't we all continue to be beginners on our mat (an off for that matter!).  Shouldn't we always be looking for ways to go deeper, find more, experience more connection with ourselves, and our awareness?

All this also made me wonder if the fact that I mostly practice by myself at home, without a teacher watching is hindering my progress.  There is something about having eyes on me that makes me push little harder, transition a little cleaner between poses, and stay a longer in the poses themselves.  And doing that always results in a satisfaction that is unrivaled by getting to that breakfast a little sooner!

David says WE (teachers, ashtangis, what have you) don't MAKE the practice hard.  It IS hard.  And we go into that with pleasure, without dodging the bits that make us sore or tired or angry.  Working hard is a pleasure, not punishment.  This is TAPAS.

And the rewards are great!  We are developing a CAPACITY for WORK and STAYING...even (and especially) WHEN ITS HARD.

Through this repetition and reflection - going back to the mat every day and reflecting on our progress...trying and failing and trying again in a new way - we are developing a HABIT OF STRENGTH...

STRENGTH OF AN ELEPHANT!

Excerpt from "Saturday Practice" May 3rd 2014 - Momentum

David G posted a couple of weeks ago about "Saturday Practice" being a time to write down some thoughts about the week of practice and things that have come up (see his blog post here). So I thought I'd give it a try. I often have flashes of insight during or after practice, and sometimes I get them down on paper, but more often these insights come and go without having shared them with students or fellow yogis. Hopefully "Saturday Practice" will help me get some things written and shared more often. Here are a few of the things milling around in this brain of mine over the past week (this is unedited and pretty much unfiltered, so keep that in mind!)

Really loving the feeling of full vinyasa primary - definitely tiring in a new way but also energizing.  I believe it has something to do with momentum - maybe my theme for the month - the idea of using (harnessing?) the momentum from the vinyasa to carry through into next pose and on...even through the tough ones.  

Kind of like swinging on a swing set - it takes more effort to stop and start again than to keep going and riding with the momentum - almost effortless...and once you get going just a little more effort in pumping on the swing results in swinging higher and higher.

I have several students that I see losing momentum as they go through their practice - They stop and sit and rest before each new pose - saying they are “assessing their energy level” or “resting” or “saving energy for what’s coming up”

This could be a symptom of a few different things:

1 - I’ve given them too much of the series to work with and they are not ready for that much - either endurance-wise or mentally

*It’s hard to stay focused and moving and keep the momentum going that long at first - takes practice and training of mind and body

2 - There is a challenging pose somewhere in there that is really taking it out of them - again either physically or mentally (or both!)

3 - They are not convinced that energy breeds energy and are worried they will wear themselves out for the rest of the day or the rest of the practice.

Sections of the practice I feel require momentum to carry through:

1 - Primary Seated through Marichyasana  - I sometimes get bogged down in all the forward folds.  Vinyasa - especially FULL vinyasa keeps you focused and moving - this is where that feeling of riding the momentum of the playground swing comes into play.

2 - Intermediate Backbends - Shalabhasana to Kapotasana - Yes, Kapo may take some prep for many but maybe...just maybe...the previous poses ARE THE PREP!!  Do them with dispatch to the best of your ability and DO NOT STOP...and see what happens.  Yes, of course there will be modifications, but no prep or stopping!  Build these modifications and props into the flow as much as possible.

3 - Intermediate Gauntlet! - Pincha Mayurasana to Vatayanasana - this is a very energetically dense section requiring large muscle groups and big movements. Momentum is a MUST!!  Do not stop!  Stopping would be like dragging your feet on the swing set and then having to start pumping all over again to get started and up to speed!  Approaching the gauntlet should be like when you are swinging and going along at a nice pace, and then just kicking a little harder to go a little higher.  You can drag your feet a little in Parigrasana and on from there

I can’t really comment on Advanced A yet - still muddling through - which brings me to my final point:

Yes, there will be some muddling as we learn new poses and sequences and push past our barriers to learn what is possible in our bodies and minds.  BUT KEEP IN MIND that these are not just poses put in some arbitrary order - they are meant to be practiced “WITH VINYASA” meaning each pose is just one small bead on a Mala.  Eventually you are striving to put it all together into one long moving meditation without stopping.  This method that we practice, Ashtanga VINYASA Yoga should build you up...feed you energetically, mentally, physically...not tear you down and take you away from your life off the mat.

I suggest practicing this way on a regular basis.  It’s a way to check in and see what happens if you just move through without stopping to prep or rest or think...putting priority on the flow of the vinyasa rather than on the poses themselves.  Led classes can serve this purpose, but there is something very important about SELF-MANAGING those impulses to stop, rest, think, avoid, grasp, etc...be HONEST with yourself about what is appropriate for you to do - how far to go in the sequence, what pose to stop at, how many backbends to do…

All that said...OF COURSE research days are helpful, props can clarify things.  But remember:

“Oh Yogi, do not practice asana without vinyasa” ~Rishi Vamana

Drishti...the forgotten piece of the puzzle?

I was asked to talk a bit about drishti for a little get-together yesterday afternoon, and this being the first time I'd really thought about discussing dristhi at any kind of length, I did a little research to prepare...which was really kinda fun.  It was a good excuse to drag out all the books I have from various teachers, and go back to look at old blog posts and articles from some of my favorite ashtangis.  I'd love to do something like it again, so if you have a topic for me, please share!  So here is a summary of what I came up with for the discussion - enjoy!

Drishti - Definition from Matthew Sweeney and David Swenson: Point of Gaze, Focus, Looking Place, Perception.

Drishti is like a gateway  to Pratyahara (sense withdrawal), bringing your conciousness within the field of your body and cultivating inner awareness, going toward those inner limbs - Dharana, Dhyana and Samadhi - but also keeping your awareness anchored on an external point, balancing the internal and external practice.

From Matthew Sweeney:

"The linking of breath with movement is the foundation of the tradition as it combines the three elements of Breath, Body and Mind. That is Pranayama, Asana and Drishti, or looking places. These are known as the Tristhanam, or the three places of attention. "

As a part of the tristhanam - three points of focus in the Ashtanga practice: Breath, Bandhas/Body, and Dristhi -  Dristhi tends to get left behind...maybe because it is the most subtle of the three.  As we begin the Ashtanga practice we start with the most gross aspect - the body - where to put it, how to hold it (bandhas/asanas) and using the breath as a gateway to being aware of the state of the body.  The Dristhi is there to help us steer the mind...direct it, focus it, and still it.

But I think sometimes (many times) we get stuck in the more gross aspects, striving for more physical challenge and leaving behind the mental challenge.  This mental challenge is a very important part though.  Its what balances our practice, and sustains it in the long run, and actually allows us to develop the physical aspect more deeply.  As we continue down the path of the physical practice, the postures and transitions get harder, requiring more and more focus and attention, and showing us where we are failing - giving us clues and cues to narrow our focus even more.  The aim and purpose of a yoga practice is, after all, samadhi, which has more to do with spiritual/self/mind development and exploration than physical.

From David Keil: 

"Dristhi is the last—and I personally found to be the most difficult—piece of the tristana puzzle. Yes, it’s a looking place, but it’s a looking place that maintains attention on that looking place. Looking at your toe and thinking about the emails you have to reply to isn’t dristhi. Of course trying to do this is hard work and forces us to continue to control our mind and place it somewhere. We all know how difficult this can be at times."

Where to look?  

There are 9 official Drishti, and there is a Dristhi assigned to each pose in Ashtanga, and these are listed in some of the books you will come across - the ones I have that list them are Matthew Sweeney's Ashtanga Yoga As It Is, David Swenson's Ashtanga Yoga Practice Manual, Lino Miele's  Ashtanga Yoga the Yoga of Breath, and Gregor Maehle's Ashtanga Yoga: The Intermediate Series.  

However, they don't always agree, and interestingly, Pattabhi Jois's book Yoga Mala doesn't list the dristhi for each pose, but says what general direction to look in.  In general, according to David Swenson, you should look in the general direction of the stretch, and according to Matthew Sweeney, no dristhi for transitions (like from trikonasana to samasthih), but generally looking down - or at least not looking around the room.  

Matthew also talks a bit about the general effect on the body when the drishti is shifted.  For instance, in reference to the drishti in Upward Dog, which is sometimes taught as Third Eye and sometimes Tip of the Nose, he says: "Looking up and back (anything overhead, including the third eye) has an expansive effect on the body and consciousness.  This can tend to aggravate the body in areas where it may be weak.  Looking down at the body (particularly the nose or navel) tends to keep the attention inward and the body stable."  

He goes on to mention other postures where the dristhi can be adjusted to accommodate tightness or weakness depending on the person.  For example, if in forward bends the neck and shoulders are cramped, keep the gaze at the tip of the nose.

I was at a workshop a couple of months ago with David Garrigues, and when asked about dristhi for certain poses, he answered the questions, and then said he thinks the drishti as listed for most poses is really fairly advanced.  For example, the toe dristhi for paschimottanasana.  For most people, until they can really flatten their chest against their thighs, looking at their toes will cause tension in the neck and shoulders...nose dristhi is more appropriate until that time.

So there is some wiggle room regarding where exactly you are looking at, and dristhis can be helpful in getting the body lined up and moving in the right direction, but really when it gets right down to it, as part of the tristhanam, its not so important for you to be looking at the exact right thing or place, but rather finding a place for your attention to rest and keeping it there.  

Still the mind