After his "awakening", he is disappointed to find that when he returns to his family and friends, he is still as irritated with them as before, and still gets angry and impatient with how they think and talk and behave. It's all good in the end, and he realizes that he still carries the peace within him that he has found, and it will not be sullied by his worldly connections and daily dealings.
Who knew Tolstoy was a yogi?! Ok maybe some of you already did, and maybe you wouldn't necessarily call him a yogi, but I was struck by the parallels between this character's struggle, and mine as a yogi and a householder.
Every morning I step on my mat and go inward, searching for inner peace and slogging through kleshas, and at the end of practice I feel elated (ok, maybe not after every practice, but that is the intention anyway). And then I step off the mat and into my regular life of making lunches, carpool, schedules, etc, and it's sometimes quite jarring.
But I also know that because of the time on my mat, I'm able to tackle that jarring reality with a little more ease, and, having compassion for myself through the deep introspection on my mat, I have more compassion for those around me. And that is the peace that I carry with me each day.
“Happiness does not depend on outward things, but on the way we see them." ~Leo Tolstoy
The Pond at Yogananda's Self Realization Center in Encinitas, CA
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