Why Does It Have To Be So Hard?

So I'm just off of a weekend workshop with David Garrigues Hosted by Suzanne and Nikos at the Ashtanga Yoga Club Durham...DG5: Strength of an Elephant

The theme of the weekend was strength (obviously) and how and where to develop that strength within the Ashtanga practice.  Finding our foundation was a big part of the weekend as well...getting our strength from the ground.

Going into the weekend I was feeling strong...I've been practicing along, doing my thing and feeling pretty good about it..."This will be no problem!"  I thought...WHAT A FOOL I WAS!!!  Is should have known better!  I've been to workshops and intensives with David before.  He is a soulful, joyful and caring teacher...and also fearless and demanding!  There is no cheating in his class!  Especially this weekend, where the theme is strength, and many of us have become masters of dodging those opportunities in the practice to build it.  The Artful Dodger was banished this weekend!

We began Friday night with a break down of Surya Namaskara A - movement by movement, breath by breath - holding the beginning and ending points of every position, and every point in between.  We found our "Pillar of Light" in Samastith, shining our light from the pelvic floor up and out through the crown of our head.

Saturday we continued our quest for foundation and light-shining through the Standing Sequence and roughly half of the Seated Poses of Primary Series, pausing for a bit to cover the ever popular but elusive Jump Back and Jump Through...IT TOOK 4 HOURS...

I have to admit I found myself a little angry with David (HAHA!!) about half way through this adventure...but I got over it.  After all, I definitely found my foundation and pillar of light, and had a few revelations about teaching and adjusting.

And seeing how thoroughly I had my ass kicked (I'm still a little sore!) made me feel like a beginner again...and isn't that a GOOD THING?  Shouldn't we all continue to be beginners on our mat (an off for that matter!).  Shouldn't we always be looking for ways to go deeper, find more, experience more connection with ourselves, and our awareness?

All this also made me wonder if the fact that I mostly practice by myself at home, without a teacher watching is hindering my progress.  There is something about having eyes on me that makes me push little harder, transition a little cleaner between poses, and stay a longer in the poses themselves.  And doing that always results in a satisfaction that is unrivaled by getting to that breakfast a little sooner!

David says WE (teachers, ashtangis, what have you) don't MAKE the practice hard.  It IS hard.  And we go into that with pleasure, without dodging the bits that make us sore or tired or angry.  Working hard is a pleasure, not punishment.  This is TAPAS.

And the rewards are great!  We are developing a CAPACITY for WORK and STAYING...even (and especially) WHEN ITS HARD.

Through this repetition and reflection - going back to the mat every day and reflecting on our progress...trying and failing and trying again in a new way - we are developing a HABIT OF STRENGTH...

STRENGTH OF AN ELEPHANT!